Sunday, October 27, 2013

When Should I File for Divorce? Timing is Everything

The phone always rings in January.

The end of the holidays can be exceptionally poignant and thought provoking for those whose marriage is in distress.

There's many reasons--postponing a difficult process until after the holidays in order to spare the angst, a New Year's resolution, or simple exasperation--the holidays can bring out the worst in troubled spouses.  A found gift receipt for jewelry that wasn't under the family tree is another. 

If the goal's to speed up the process, it's helpful to have a case coded with an earlier year.  Judges rarely schedule only one case per day, unless it's a firm trial date.  Thus, when those first trial notices go out from two to four months post-filing, the case with the oldest date gets the most attention.  Judicial dockets are monitored by the county and state, and the trier of fact is typically protective of her statistics.

Some folks are calculating in their choice of timing.  Service immediately before an out-of-town trip can give both sides some "cooling off" time.  Others demand service just prior to a special event, a birthday, an anniversary or even Valentine's Day.  Just make certain the kids aren't home.

Your spouse may never forgive nor forget timing which is perceived to be vindictive or embarrassing.  Divorces are costly and emotional enough without adding insult to the injury to the family.Offer her the opportunity to be served in a humane fashion rather than sending Bruiser to the office holiday luncheon.

It's best to chose a time that's right for you, without trying to make a barbed statement.

Unless there's the immediate fear of physical injury or asset dissipation, shortly after filing for divorce, it's best to sit your spouse down and reveal that you've begun the process--and why.  Give him the opportunity to reel from the blow before expecting any solid responses.

Again, timing IS everything, both emotionally and strategically. 

What's your New Year's resolution?

1 comment:

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